Vacant Faith Read online

  “It's okay, daddy. It's not your fault what the humans did.” She replied, frowning slightly. “Why do we have to be like the humans anyway? I don't like them. They're mean and ugly and cruel.”

  “Some of them are, yes.” Werion said softly, turning his gaze back to the small girl. “But many of them are quite good and decent folk. And some of them are neither. You can't judge them all by the stories your mother tells. She... has her reasons for her feelings towards her own people.” He sighed softly. “But you've never even met a human besides her before. Don't judge them all by the deeds of a few.”

  “Don't you hate them?” Alina asked, looking up with eyes widened in surprise. “After what they did to Gramma and your sister, and what Mommy says they did when they came...” She paused as a new thought struck her. “Mommy's human too?”

  “I hate no one, dearest one. Even those who wrong me only do so because they feel it is the best option for their own survival.” He offered her a smile, but it felt sad to the small girl. “And your mother is just as human as those who caused the Great War. As much as she dislikes her own kind, she likes the idea of being too far away from them even less. Now, how about we head for home? No doubt Kirani will want us to wash up before supper.”

  “Alright.” Alina agreed reluctantly, rising to her feet. “But Daddy, will I ever... change? Like you do?”

  A look of horror crossed the man's features before he was able to bring them back under his control. Alina wondered if she had asked another bad question. “I hope not, soul of my soul. I hope you never have any unpleasantness touch your life. Especially none that mirrors my own.” Without giving time for further questions, Werion rocked himself forward to his hands and knees to change back into the palomino stallion.

  Alina threw the riding blanket across the stallion's broad back and climbed on with practiced ease. “Let's ride!” She cried out as her fingers curled around his silken mane.

  The stallion let out a loud neigh and took off at his slowest walk, stretching out his long neck and bobbing his head as if he were galloping at his fastest. Alina's laughter was music to his ears.

  ************************

  Kirani gently rubbed a flower petal between her thumb and forefinger, admiring its softness. She began to reach out to pluck the flower it belonged to when the sound of hoof beats reached her ears. Looking up, she saw her daughter riding a large palomino stallion and smiled, waving a greeting as the pair approached.

  The stallion slowed his pace as he got closer to the house, offering a cheerful neigh of greeting in return. Alina waved back with enthusiasm, her blond hair shining goldenly in the bright sunlight.

  The flower forgotten, Kirani began walking down the cobblestone path to meet her approaching family. The stallion halted to allow the girl to jump from his back before she eagerly ran to her mother. Kirani smiled broadly as she knelt and spread her arms wide in invitation, embracing the young girl as if they had been apart for days rather than just a few hours.

  “Mommy! Mommy! We're related to watchwilfs!” Alina exclaimed in excitement. “I mean witchwolfs! Daddy was telling me all about it! He said Gramma was a wolf. But she didn't call herself a wolf because she knew she wasn't a bird or a river. But the humans made them go away and it made Daddy sad.”

  The smile faded from Kirani's face, but she forced it back as she looked to the child. “That sounds exciting, dear. Why don't you go wash up and you can tell me all about it while we make supper. Alright?”

  “Okay!” Alina agreed and giggled happily as she ran toward the house.

  Kirani rose back to her feet as the stallion approached, stretching out his neck to nuzzle her gently. She kissed his velvet nose and sighed, resting her forehead against that of the stallion. “Welcome home, my love. I trust the two of you had a good day together.” Werion gave an affirmative nicker. “Do you really think it was a good idea to tell her about your mother? She's still so young yet. I don't know if she's ready to know about-” Her words were cut off as the stallion lifted his head and begin lipping at her ear. Kirani laughed and playfully shoved him away, rubbing her ear. “Stop that you silly brute! You know your whiskers tickle!” Werion offered only a chuckling nicker, his demeanor anything but abashed. “Fine, we'll talk about this later. Go change in the barn so that you can help Alina and I with dinner.”

  Kirani gave the stallion's flank a playful slap as he walked past her, then headed back to the house where her daughter eagerly awaited, ready to tell her all about the adventure she had been on. Alina was already sitting at the table shelling a bowl of peas from their garden. As soon as the girl saw Kirani she began to eagerly babble on about her day, most of it spent at places simply named for what she felt was important about them.

  “You so should have come with us, mommy.” The young girl began. “First we went to the creek, and daddy was splashing me, and I almost caught a fish in my fingers but it was too slimy and it got away. So daddy said I had to wash the fish slime off of my hands before he'd let me climb on his back, and then we went to the bridge and I threw a rock but it hit another rock and bounced clear out of the water and I said 'You silly rock, you're not supposed to do that.' And daddy made this funny voice like he was the rock and he said...”

  Kirani smiled as she listened to the recounting of the girl's day, nodding in all of the appropriate places, but the words began to fade from her attention. Walking to her cutting board, she found the knife and small pile of carrots waiting for her, just as she had left them. Still nodding to the recounted story she was no longer listening to, she began to slice the carrots, dumping them into the battered old stew pot that rested in the sink. Her thoughts began to turn to her husband.

  Kirani wanted to talk to him about their daughter, concerned that she wasn't quite old enough to know the truth about him. Kirani herself did not even know the full story. When Werion had tried to tell her, he had been unable to finish and they had decided not to speak about the subject again. What he had managed to tell her, however, had been enough.

  The day she had first met Werion, Kirani had been checking her father's traps, surprised to find a man ensnared in one of them instead of a rabbit. The man was naked and filthy, his skin covered in old scars. Heavy iron manacles circled his wrists and ankles, dragging heavy chains from each. At first she had mistaken him for dead, then she wondered if he was an escaped prisoner from another village.

  She had knelt down to check for a pulse, and before her hand had even touched him, he had surprised her by grabbing her wrist and looking up at her. He then began begging her in a raspy voice to tell him if anyone had been hurt in the night. Before she had been able to reply, he had begun to cry, releasing her to cover his face in his hands as he mumbled something she could not understand. Kirani's heart had broken for the poor man, who she felt must be ailing from madness, and offered him some of the bread and cheese she had packed for her lunch, then giving him her cloak to cover his nakedness.

  The sudden pressure of a strong arm wrapping about her waist pulled the woman from her daydreams. She felt something thin and cool pressed into her hair and behind her ear. Reaching up to see what had been placed there, she was pleased when her fingers felt the silk of flower petals. “I saw you admiring it as I approached.” Came Werion's voice in her other ear, followed by a soft kiss to her cheek. “I thought it would look better on you than in the garden, but you're already so beautiful that you make that bloom look plain in comparison.”

  Kirani smiled and laid her knife down before reaching back to hug her husband's neck. “Oh you do go on.” She chided with a soft giggle. “My hair is a mess, I'm wearing my tatty old gardening dress, and you want to call me pretty as a flower.”

  “No, not as pretty, much lovelier.” He whispered, resting his head on her shoulder. “You are lovelier than that flower. And in my eyes you could only become lovelier still.” He hugged her to him tighter, his other arm curling around to join the first. “You are my life, Kirani. You and Alina both. No
thing in this world or any other could possibly mean more to me than the two of you.”

  “My love,” She replied with a sigh. “You say that every day.”

  “And every day I mean it.” He said before she could continue with more. Reaching out, he plucked a slice of carrot from the board and popped it into his mouth, crunching loudly in her ear.

  “Now you stop that or you'll eat them all and we'll have nothing for dinner!” Kirani said as she released his neck and tried to shoo him away. “You already ate every single one of the-” but her words were halted as Werion spun her around and pressed his mouth to her own, kissing her softly at first, then with more pressure. By the time he finally pulled away again, she was panting softly, thoughts whirling dizzily. “Why you crafty devil.” The words came breathily. “Now shoo. Out of my kitchen.”

  Werion winked at her and snatched one final slice of carrot from the cutting board, popping it into his mouth before allowing himself to be sent away. He went to the table and began helping Alina shell the peas. As the pair began to laugh together, Kirani smiled wider. She felt so fortunate to have met him so many years ago. Werion had brought her some of the happiest days of her life. If only she knew a way to banish the shadow that had been cast over their happiness.

  ************************

  “That was a fine feast, my love.” Werion commented as he rubbed his stomach. “The best I've ever had.”

  Alina giggled. It had been a simple meal of vegetable stew, bread and cheese, but every meal Kirani made was proclaimed to be her best ever. “Yes. It was very good, Mommy.” The girl added, wanting to be part of the fun.

  “Aww, thank you, my dears.” Kirani said, rising to give them each a kiss to the forehead. “I'm glad you both enjoyed it.” She began to clear the dishes and Alina jumped up to help, placing her own bowl and spoon in the sink before running off to play, her enthusiastic giggles trailing in her wake.

  “I'll get the dishes tonight.” Werion spoke up, finally rising from the table. “You made us such a wonderful meal and all I did was stay out of the way. If you heat the water for me, I'll finish cleaning up.”

  “Oh don't be silly.” Kirani replied. “We can do them together. That way we can talk. I still wanted to go over...” She hesitated, glancing over her shoulder to make sure Alina was not in ear shot. “Well, do you really think she's old enough yet? To know about you, I mean.”

  Werion walked up to his wife, sliding the backs of his knuckles slowly down her cheek. “No.” He said softly. “I don't think she will ever be old enough. And if I had my way, she would never know. Her sleep would never be plagued by nightmares of her father failing to protect her. She would never have to see me chained to a wall like some vile criminal. If I had my way, neither of you would ever have need to fear me.”

  Kirani reached up to take his hand in her own, tilting her head to press her face against his skin. “We could never be afraid of you, my love. We fear for you. But that's not your fault. It's the curse. None of it is ever your fault.”

  Werion smiled sadly and shook his head. “But it is. The blood on my hands is no one's fault but my own. The damage the beast causes, the fear that it sows, the lives that it takes, they are all my fault and no one else's. I am not strong enough to stop or control it. Therefore, I am responsible for all that I allow it to do.”

  “No!” Kirani protested. “No, you're not being fair and you know it.” She looked up into his eyes, eyes so blue they seemed to mirror the sky, and almost let the argument go. The subject was not new between them, but Kirani felt that she had to try, even just once more, to convince him that the weight of guilt he insisted on carrying was not his burden to bear. “No man,” she finally continued. “Nor woman, is responsible for acts they themselves did not commit. That... that thing... It is not you. It may borrow your body but it is not you. You are not the one doing those... those terrible things!”

  Werion offered no answer. His fingers uncurled to gently cup her face, then he leaned down to kiss her forehead again. “Let's get these dishes done so we have a bit more time together before the beast comes tonight.”

  Kirani sighed and lowered her head to rest it against her husband's chest. “Go play with Alina, my love.” She said softly, her shoulders lowered in defeat. “We'll both go to her. Such simple chores are not as important as spending time with your daughter, before...” She let the words fade away, but they both knew what she refused to say.

  “Kirani, my love.” He said softly, kissing the top of her head. “You are the keeper of my soul. Nothing could possibly happen with you around to protect me.”

  She shoved him playfully away and scowled at him, but there was no scorn in the expression. “You're nothing but a big child yourself, aren't you. Go on, now. Go tell Alina a story. I'll be there in a moment.”

  Chuckling softly, Werion joined the young girl in the other room and Kirani heard them laughing together moments later. She inhaled deeply before letting it out in a sigh. “That man.” She said to herself, shaking her head. “So infuriating and yet so impossible to get mad at.” A smile tugged at her lips as she recalled their strange courtship.

  He had tried his best to warn her away in those early days without quite giving away his secret, but something about him had held her to him as strongly as a rope tied around her body. Somehow she knew that their fates were meant to be intertwined and he would be the man she would marry.

  Walking closer to her husband and daughter, Kirani's smile widened as she watched them together. In less than an hour, she would be chaining him to a stone wall and carrying her daughter into the cellar where they would wait out the night. Briefly she wondered if she would have felt the same about the mysterious man in the woods if she had known what their future held, but the thought was quickly banished.

  Finally Kirani pushed herself away from the wall and joined her husband and daughter next to the fireplace. Alina was sitting in her father's lap as he told her one of her favorite bedtime stories, flourishing the details with silly voices and hand gestures. 'He's such a gentle man.' Kirani thought to herself. 'And such a wonderful father. He doesn't deserve such a terrible curse as this.'

  “Another, daddy! Tell me another!” Alina cried as the story finally came to an end.

  “It's getting a bit late, young lady. And you know what I have to do tonight.” Werion replied patiently.

  “Just one more!” She pleaded, trying to stretch out the last few minutes of safety from the evening. “Please?”

  “There isn't time, dear.” Kirani responded. “But if you like, I'll tell you one after I get-”

  “But you don't tell them as good.” Alina interrupted with a pout. Without waiting for a response, the girl jumped to her feet and ran to her bedroom.

  “She doesn't mean it, my love.” Werion said softly, reaching out to stroke Kirani's cheek. “You tell wonderful stories.”

  Kirani covered his hand with her own and smiled. “I know, dear. She's just worried about her father. And so is her mother.” She stared pointedly at him, but she knew there was nothing he could do about his situation that he had not done already. “Shall we get you taken care of before...”

  Werion nodded and followed her to the door. The air outside of the house was crisp and cool. Kirani inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh scent of growing things carried on the breeze. Leading her husband, she walked slowly to the stone wall, knowing what she was about to do was necessary but wished it wasn't.

  As Werion pressed his back to the cold, smooth stones, he held out first one arm and then the other for her to apply the heavy manacles. Two more were applied to his legs, and a final heavy collar was snapped and locked around his neck. The thick chains rattled noisily as they clashed against the stone. “Are you alright?” Kirani asked hesitantly. “Is there anything I can get you before I take Alina...”

  “No, but thank you, dear heart.” Werion replied softly. “I should be fine until morning. Please, tell her not to be frightened, it's only for
a few hours. Then you will both be safe from me again. At least, for a while.”

  “I told you, it's not you we need to be kept safe from.” She snapped firmly. “It never has been. That cursed thing is not you!”

  Even in the darkness she could see his sad, patient smile, as if she just didn't understand and he didn't have the heart to correct her on her foolishness. “May you both have pleasant dreams that carry you far away from here.” He said softly.

  Kirani grit her teeth, wanting to tear him free of his chains while comforting him with promises that everything would be alright. She wanted to shake him and tell him to fight, not to give up so easily. She wanted to run and never look back. Instead of doing any of these things, she grabbed his face in her hands and kissed him deeply, passionately. Both of them denied themselves breath until finally she pulled away. “Be well.” She said simply, before turning away and hurrying into the house, hoping to hide the tears that had begun flowing.

  It took only a few minutes for mother and daughter to make their way to the hidden cellar. Alina settled tiredly into one of the two beds while Kirani read by candle light. The small girl had just begun to drift off to sleep when the first scream came. It was a sound of such misery and agony that both of them gave a start, despite expecting it. The monster had come.

  Kirani closed her book and set it aside, moving to sit on the edge of the bed where Alina lay shivering. Slowly and gently, she scooped the small child into her arms and began rocking her. To help cover the pained screams she began to sing a lullaby her mother had sung to her as a child.

  You are my child of moonlight,

  You call the angels down.